The Shared Vision Team had 16 community members attend the workshop. Attendees were all interested in learning to become a better communicator. One of the most important ways to do that is by becoming an observer.
Changing State – Why? First exercise, why – whether it be for another, to help the other person, change state, to become aware of their physiology, to become aware of our own.
Partners – A/B
A: Share with your partner a time when you were upset, nothing too deep or personal – just upset, aggravated – didn’t mesh … think it feel it, tell it – 4 or 5 minutes (that’s a long time) – engage with B – tell them sincerely –
90 angle – (other workshop we use predicates to determine speech patterns/sensory style – ) not today, listen, without analyzing – observe and deeply listen – validate, clarify, engage – yet observe
Whoever is ready can start – then, Flip/Flip/Visa Versa –
Make note of observations – think about what you saw, without analyzing or judgements –
Now same exercise with a Happy Story – exciting time – favorite story, fun-loving – A/B – note voice, physiology, stance – gestures –
Make note and share with partner what you saw –
Breaking State – contrived setting – however, it builds the awareness – and provides the opportunities and practice to implement later on …
A/B – another upsetting story, partner is telling, uncomfortable – (again, nothing too personal) and share honestly, you are entitled to your opinion –
Break State –
A break state is a sudden change in the context of speaking or movement that changes a person’s state quickly.
Breaking the state is important as it serves to leave one state behind and enter into a ‘neutral state.’ This helps to reduce or even stop the residue or contamination from one state to another – like a bridge. People sometimes find it difficult going from one state to another, and this can act as a stepping stone, or a bridge that is neutral to both resetting –
For another person – looking for harmonious connection – excuse me, that guy at the gas station – oh, I need to interject …
For yourself; One example would be to create a picture in your mind – a go to –
Redirect yourself, do as is, take a walk outside, put on your favorite music – fake it to you make it.
Let’s play – Abbreviated version –
Your State and the World; Your ‘state’ is reflective of your emotional condition – mood, thoughts, feelings –
You can be more consciously aware of your ‘state’ – you are in control of it. In a funk, move it around, your outcomes, how you experience the world is different – in a better state. Have you ever been in a slump? Received an exciting phone call – and BAM, the world looks different?
Yes, sometimes we have joy, anger, happiness, sadness – but for the most part, we are somewhere in between – this is our ‘baseline state’ – how we see the world.
WANT CHANGE? Remember a time when you were upset/unhappy – look at your posture, notice yourself – NOW WIPE THAT SCREEN – now remember a time happy/feel it – describe story. Notice your physiology –
Change up physiology can do same –
Why is this important – changing from negative to positive will yield results – Changing another’s State – If a person is behaving negatively – Change State – Move from an intense state to a neutral state, allowing you/or another space to adopt to another state –
How? Ask them to stand up – point to something in the room, make them laugh, noise, distraction….
Setting Anchors – You are the Guide!
With NLP, “anchoring” refers to the process of the association of an internal response with some internal or external trigger so that the response may be quickly reaccessed. This is a useful NLP for inducting a frame of mind or emotion – relaxation or happiness. A desired emotion – you would like to recall –
A Resource Anchor is an anchor you can use to boost your confidence, motivate self or get some energy – great way to facilitate personal development and growth – gives you an “on’ switch.
Work with a partner – new partner, your story is now polished – remember a time when you were elated, happy – good thoughts – you won a competition, a first kiss – or some really good news – a clear, very happy moment.
Tell partner of the story of what happened leading up to it – be vivid, picture it – recall the feeling. Have partner hold left index and middle fingers in your right hand – and gently give their fingers two quick squeezes. Ask them to make the picture of the happy moment larger, bring it closer to them, and imagine that feeling getting bigger more colorful, closer and multiplying in strength. Squeeze fingers –
Describe again how you are feeling, what were you thinking at the time – squeeze fingers twice – the clearer you imagine the feeling – the better it works – repeat until you have the described and intensified five times in a row.
You have now laid an anchor – we can later recall this anchor by using the same double squeeze to recall a sense of happiness.
We do this, for conditioning, we are psychologically associated the neural signal of the two squeezes on my left fingers with happy! Needs to be clear/thorough – known as conditioning.
Resource Anchor – Next up – anchoring goes with the idea that “We already have the resources that we need” – The “resource” here is the memory of the time when you experienced the desired state. One way is to step into a Circle of Excellence – this is one of the major presuppositions of NLP – that we have all the resources we need – with this we can gather powerful internal states in our unconscious – and call them up as needed – see how resourceful you already are!
Circle of Excellence –
Ready, Set, Go –
Use your imagination draw a circle on the ground in front of you – large one – chalk if needed. Within that circle imagine every good thing about yourself, every time you had success, your strengths, positive statements – what colors go with that – sounds, feelings as you put them in the circle you observe from the outside. Now, physically step inside your circle. Take a breath and feel all that positive energy – see all the positive colors in your minds eye – – close your eyes and enjoy.
When finished – put in your back pocket and carry that circle with you – its yours!